My New Daily Grind

No I'm not referring to coffee (although I made a delicious French Press this morning)-my life as I know it has completely changed. Friday was my first official day of stay-at-home mom world. Jared is back to work, and though I live at my parents place, mom and dad are usually gone for most of the day as well. Leaving Caden and myself to fend for ourselves-how dare they!:) So that means I have to figure out how to survive and make the most of these days at home with my baby. Now let me be very clear that this is totally by my own choice that I am in the position I am in. Having Caden was not a surprise to us, I mean I'm 30 years old for crying out loud, I should be totally fine with all of this right?

Anyhoo, in my attempt to make some sense of my days, I'm following the advice of my fabulous sister in law Becky and have made up a schedule for each day of the week. A little overkill for some-perhaps. But I think it will work really well for me and the babe. It looks something like this:

7:00-Wake up-God Time
8:00-Wake Caden-feed/change
9:00-Go for a Walk
9:30-Nap
10:00-Clean
11:30-feed/change Caden
12:00-Lunch
12:30-nap-do coupons
2:30-feed/change Caden
3:00-workout (Caden LOVES to watch:)
4:20-shower
4:30-feed/change Caden
5:30-Dinner
6:30-feed/change Caden
7:20-bath
8:00-feed/change/bedtime for Caden
10:00-Go to sleep
4:30-feed/change Caden-back to sleep:)

Sounds thrilling doesn't it? I'm hoping the routine will be beneficial for us all. Well right now Caden is screaming his brains out-resisting his nap...I just keep remembering tomorrow is a new day. And I know his many smiles will cancel out all the tears.


~Angela M.

June 17th 2011

Three and a half weeks have already flown by and yet it seems like it was only yesterday I was in labor.

It was about 11:30 at night on June 16th--we had just finished celebrating my Dad's 60th birthday at a local restaurant. I had a feeling all day long that labor was very close even though my due date was still 6 days away, of course I told Jared I thought it would be soon, but we didn't mention anything to my parents or anyone else-not wanting to get anyone's hopes up. So there I lay in our bed, and almost like our little boy knew when I clicked off the light, the contractions started.

I decided to wait to say anything to Jared until I was sure the contractions were consistent. I kept an eye on the clock as each contraction would come and go. After 30 minutes of contractions that lasted 30 seconds each and were 5-7 minutes apart, I decided the time had come to wake Jared up. I must not have done a very good job waking him up as his response to me was "ok well I'm going back to sleep, let me know when they get closer together."

Ten minutes later as I was laying in bed I very distinctly felt a snap inside, I turned over and told Jared "I think my water just broke." My husband jumped out of bed faster then I could have even imagined and started making sure everything was packed, pacing around, and asking how he could help me. Our plan had been to stay at home as long as we could, knowing that the longer we were at the hospital, the more they would try to offer me drugs etc. (and we live about 2 min from the hospital) As soon as my water broke, (just like my doula forewarned me) the contractions become much stronger. We were probably at home for 10-15 min later when Jared made the call that staying at home was no longer an option. I believe at that point the contractions were about 2-3 min apart and lasting close to a minute each time.

Upon entering the ER, episodes from the Cosby Show and other sitcoms kept running through my head as I sat in the waiting room as Jared desperatly sought out the attention of the Dr.'s and everyone else is staring at me as I'm breathing and making weird noises like a crazy person. It thankfully only took a few minutes before a man came over with a wheel chair and started carting me through the eternally long hallway. After answering a series of strange questions and being assessed, I was told I was about halfway to the pushing phase and placed in the delivery room. I was blown away at how quickly everything progressed. Before I knew it, several hours had gone by and everything was set for the baby to come out! I was so thrilled at the thought that it would not be much longer before we would see our beautiful boy! I started pushing around 4:30 am, and to my dismay by 6:00, nothing had really changed. The nurse got the Dr. to ask him his opinion and he told me exactly what I did not want to hear. My bones were too close together and not allowing our baby to come down like he needed to. I could try to continue pushing or have a c-section. Exactly what I did not want to hear. For the last 9 months I had this vision in my head of how the birth would go, but this was not at all what I had hoped for. They gave Jared and I a minute to decide what we want to do. I still can't believe the words came out of my mouth when I turned to Jared and said "let's just do it." I don't remember too much other then us looking at each other with tears streaming down our faces-happy because we knew it wouldn't be much longer before he was here--and I was sad because I knew the process would not be what I had hoped for, although the outcome would be perfect.

Each contraction from that moment on was torture as I knew they were "pointless" in a sense. It was about 20 minutes later and there I lay on the operation table, the anestesiologist became our new friend, including taking pictures of the event for us. The procedure actually took longer than I thought. I had expected them to start the surgery and to hear our little guys voice 2 minutes later, but time seemed to slow down as we waited in those moments. Though they stretched out, those moments between Jared and I were very intimate and sweet--I will always remember when we first heard his cry as Jared and I looked at him and back at each other. Such a time filled with love.

Caden Levi Amerine entered the world at 6:58 am at 7 lbs and 1 oz, and 21 inches long.

Jared brought him over right by my head and the three of us just sat there soaking in each memory. Caden just starred at us--we were blown away at how precious and perfect he looked. Anything I had ever imagined or dreamed was taken to a completly new level when we saw him. Little Baby Caden is such a gift from God-such a victory in our lives.

And so that is the story of how Caden entered the world--but the story of the victories God will continue to have in His life are still to come:)


~Angela M.

When my Baby was born...





~Angela M.

What's in a Name?



It was the day we had anxiously waited for. January 24th my husband Jared and I would be able to see our baby for the first time together at our 18 week ultrasound. I had visions in my head of what the moment would be like as we would watch our child squirming around-probably thinking about how much “it” already loved us For almost an hour we had the joy of watching our (as we later found out) son wave at us and move around to his hearts content. How perfect he looked in every way!

Our Dr. came into the room after about 20 min of waiting, as we expected to have him tell us we had a perfectly healthy growing baby and we could be on our way. However, the look on his face told us that we were going to be having a very different conversation than we had anticipated. The Dr. asked several somewhat strange questions and proceeded to explain that they had seen a cyst on our baby’s precious little brain. He said it could be something as simple as extra fluid in the brain as it was still growing, and could simply go away on its own…or it could be a serious genetic disorder.

In that moment, I became very conscious that I had several choices. I was reminded of a friend of mine, when he was diagnosed with cancer-his first reaction was to quote 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. Contrary to my typical reaction, I found myself reminded of that verse “Be Joyful Always, Pray Continually, and Give Thanks in all Circumstances.” Remarkably as our Dr. continued to explain our different options, my mind was able to focus thankful prayers to the Lord (this makes me sound like a very spiritual person, however I assure you, this has typically not been my response to a difficult situation-I am a very good worrier).

We decided against having an amniocentesis done, knowing that regardless of the outcome, it would not change how we felt about the birth of our boy. We scheduled a follow up ultrasound 4 weeks later. I knew the next 4 weeks would either be the worst 4 weeks of my life, or that I could look back at it and marvel at all that God taught Jared and me. There were many times (too many to count) when I was tempted to feel sorry for myself, freak out, and worry about how we would handle everything—but God reminded me continually of that verse in 1 Thess. I had to make the decision to lift up my thanks when my temptations to worry would overtake my mind. This was not an easy thing for me to do as it seemed so contrary to my natural tendencies.

I desired to learn how to fully trust God, wondering what trusting God in this particular situation looked like. When we left the office, we both decided in the car that the best way we could trust the Lord would be to not google the genetic disorder or tell all our friends. Our best response was to pray, be thankful, and ask our immediate family to pray along with us. Whenever I felt anxiety or fear, I decided to combat those thoughts with more prayers of thankfulness for anything and everything I could think of. In those moments I knew if I truly believe in a God who parted the Red Sea, protected and cared for His people, and sent Jesus Christ to earth to live and die for my sins, I needed to believe that regardless of what the outcome was of the next ultrasound, God would fulfill every need we had. I could not believe in only pieces of the Bible. I needed to believe every part.

Our small group had been going through the book of Psalms during this period, and it was an amazing blessing to be reminded everyday of God’s many promises. It was amazing to have God speak to us through His word on a daily basis. Psalm 25:3 “No one who trusts in You will ever be disgraced.” And Psalm 20:5 “We will shout for joy when You are victorious and we will lift up our banners in the name of our God.” Were several of the verses that God sang over my soul.
4 weeks later, as we returned to the Dr, I knew that regardless of the outcome, God already had a victory in how He had softened my heart, and taught me to respond in a way that was honoring to Him.

In the next hour, I marveled at a God who was big enough to heal a cyst in a brain, while being small enough to touch a tiny little baby still inside my womb. Talk about God having a victory! I feel that even more importantly then seeing that God was powerful enough to heal our baby physically, was learning that God is trustworthy---He is faithful. His character does not change. Moreover, God is big enough to change my heart to learn to be more trusting. I have learned in a new way that my response while I’m waiting is many times more important then the outcome itself. And I am convinced that had the result not been what it was, God would still have already had a victory in my heart-and would provide us with everything we needed.

It was during this time that I asked God to give us a special name meaning…victory…God’s Victory kept flying out of the pages of scriptures to me. What an incredible joy it would be to be reminded of God’s victory every time I say his name! And so this is what we have done. Our beautiful precious boy who is a victory to the Lord’s credit. This is the story of our boy, and how God gave us his special name…to be revealed upon his arrival in just a few short weeks

~Angela M.

Baby Amerine

How far along are you?
37 weeks today! Baby Amerine is now considered a "full term" baby which couldn't make me happier! It's so relieving to know he is developed enough to enter the world :)

How much weight have you gained?
Closing in on 30 lbs which is the most I wanted to gain! Hopefully it won't get much higher since I only have a few more weeks to go! I walk between 40 min to an hour almost everyday, and eat really well so I know I'm staying healthy.

How big is baby?
Probably at least 6 lbs, but it's all guess work. I am hoping the Dr. doesn't even give me an estimate because I know they can very easily be off by quite a bit, and I don't need to worry about his weight. He is what he is:)

How are you feeling?
Pretty good today, backache quite a bit, and contractions every now and then, but emotionally I'm feeling really good! The end is near and I know I am approaching my most uncomfortable days, so I'm prepared!

Are you sleeping?
Very sporatically. But I have a feeling my body is just preparing me what it will be like once the boy is here. Sleeping habits will change and I will have to find a new "normal".

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Chocolate anything has been sounding really good for the last few days:) But when does chocolate not sound good??

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
So much is going on outside of his little protected space to prepare for him, I wish he could see how hard his dad is working to get everything ready for him! We are currently finishing my parents basement so we can move in, so life is very very busy for Jared especially!

What are you thinking about this week?
Anticipating what going into labor will be like. I am very curious to see how my body will react. I'm praying I will go into labor on my own without being induced, but you just never know! So that's on my mind a lot. Also that this is my last week of work. Wow, life is about to change in a big way!

What are you Looking Forward To?
As weird as it sounds I'm relaly looking forward to figuring out our new normal for our family. I'm excited for this transition in life and I know it will be extremly different...but that's ok. I really can't wait till my brother and his family come out here for a month after the baby is born! What a wonderful wonderful time that will be!



~Angela M.

36 weeks!!!


How far along are you?
36 weeks today:) Yikes the end is really approaching!

How much weight have you gained?
26 lbs as of my last appt. Our scale battery is dead, which I figure as of this point it's probably a blessing!

How big is baby?
Around 5 1/2 to 6 lbs according to the books. Hence the backache:)

How are you feeling?
Very tired the last few days...I can tell the end is near so that is a good thing!

Are you sleeping?
a LOT! The last few nights I slept for about 8-9 hours which is way more than normal for me! I think this baby is wearing me out!

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Nothing really in particular these days. I have not been very hungry recently=probably because the boy is taking up so much room.

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
He is almost fully cooked! If he were a computer that was being updated, he only has like 2% left to go:) I had my shower on Sunday and this boy has sooooo many adorable things!

What are you thinking about this week?
Trying to work as much as I can in the next 2 weeks--just preparing myself for labor and most of all for life with a baby...I still can not fathom what life will be like!

What are you missing?
Lots of stuff--like sleeping on my back. I'm trying to forget about the things I can't do and just cherish the moments I feel him moving around inside of me. The time will come soon when I will again be able to do all the things I miss:)


~Angela M.

How far along are you?
34 weeks and 5 days

How much weight have you gained?
25 lbs--starting to feel scared of myself!

How big is baby?
Between 5 to 5 and a half pounds! A nice healthy weight:)

How are you feeling?
Today felt like a milestone in uncomfortability...which is not necessarily a good thing:( I just keep reminding myself I have about a month to go! And then our beautiful boy will have made it all worth it.

Are you sleeping?
Yes, for the most part. I have been waking up about 3-4 times a night to pee which is really fun:) I usually fall right back to sleep unless our boy is moving like crazy...which happens a few nights a week. But I do love having an active little boy!

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Still the Hot Cocoa, and nice fresh berries now that they are in season. Oh and some delicious Canada Dry Ginger Ale! Yummmmmm!!!

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
His lungs and kidneys are fully developed:) Yea! He will technically be "full term" in 2 weeks which is really hard to believe:) I can't believe he will be here before we know it!

What are you thinking about this week?
I'm so thankful that Jared finished up his Master's Degree this last week! I'm so so so proud of him, and I'm so thankful he was able to finish BEFORE our boy is coming! Jesus is sooo good! I'm thankful we can now get everything ready for baby!

What are you missing?
I miss feeling "normal". I am so thankful for this time in our lives. I know it will be over before we know it, so even through the uncomfortability is pretty high right now, I try to be as thankful as possible.

What are you looking forward to?
Holding our boy! Kissing his cheeks! Cuddling with him!


~Angela M.

How far along are you?
31 weeks and 5 days

How much weight have you gained?
20 lbs--not fun

How big is baby?
About 3 and a half lbs or so according to all the books

How are you feeling?
Exhausted and starting to feel very uncomfortable...I guess that comes with growing a baby inside of you! He'll be here in about 8 weeks give or take so it's pretty normal to me that everything is starting to ache:)

Are you sleeping?
In the last few weeks I've actually been sleeping really well--I just never feel like I get enough!

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Hot Chocolate:) I have tried it from most of the coffee stands in town--I love it from Bean me Up espresso--hate starbucks cocoa--blech

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
Little baby boy is starting to pack on the pounds. His little body is just preparing itself to join us out here! A few weeks ago I made some stuffed owls for decor for his room which I am super excited about!

What are you thinking about this week?
I am constantly telling Jared---I can't believe he is going to be here so soon! This time is just flying by. I'm trying to get as much rest as I can now and also finishing up all kinds of things I need to do now.

What are you missing?
I'm missing running and working out hard. I also miss just being able to walk up a flight of stairs without getting out of breath!

What are you looking forward to?
Showing off our precious little miracle to our family and friends:)



~Angela M.

How far along are you?
29 weeks 5 days--so close to 30!!

How much weight have you gained?
20 lbs---yikes!

How big is baby?
About 3 lbs-he'll be putting on about 1/2 a lb. every week.

How are you feeling?
Pretty good these days--It kind of depends on the day. I'm starting to get tired again-I guess that's the 3rd trimester for you:)

Are you sleeping?
Yes I sleep--how long is another story. I just figure God is preparing for what it would be like once the baby is waking me up in the middle of the night:)

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Cravings are mostly things I can't have these days-like regular coffee.

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
Baby Amerine is mostly developing his lungs, and putting on some weight:) All good things. He's just getting ready to come out into the world.

What are you thinking about this week?
Thinking about getting as much rest as possible while I still can:) Also thinking about our baby boy and praying about the man God will shape him to be.

What are you missing?
I'm really starting to miss just how my body normally feels like. Although I'm just trying to keep in mind that the pregnancy is only going to last for a few more months:( I'm trying to enjoy every moment of this pregnancy:)

What are you looking forward to?
Smelling the skin of the little baby boy and kissing his little face:) I'm also looking forward to dressing him in all the cute little outfits we've already gotten for him.

Random question:
Have you picked out a name?
Yes! We have his full name picked out...Froyo Bongo Amerine!!! Well that's my dad's nickname for our baby. But in all reality we do have his name picked out--it has a very special meaning for us, plus we just like the names:) In about 10 weeks everyone will know what it is!
~Angela M.

How far along are you?24 weeks 5 days.

How much weight have you gained?14 pounds--My back is really starting to feel it!

How big is baby?
Close to 2 pounds--still so tiny:)

How are you feeling?
My back is not loving me right now. I am recalling anytime prior to pregnancy when I thought I was uncomfortable. The only thing remotely close to this is when I was having major back pains while running. Sigh.

Are you sleeping?
Yes-I'm never really sure how much I sleep--on average I've been waking up about 4-6 times a night just to get comfortable.

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Today I wanted some homemade biscuits:) I'm planning on making some this week!

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
In this next week his spinal cord and vertebrae will really be developing. His nose is becoming unplugged, although his eyes are still fused shut. He LOVES moving around, and I love it too:)

What are you thinking about this week?
We've been praying for our little guy a lot. It is so important to us that we display Christ in everything we do so our son will come to know Christ's love early on. The closer it gets the more desperate I feel on the guidance and love of God! Raising a kid is a scary thing!

What are you missing?
I miss not running out of breath after going up a flight of stairs. Oh lungs you are running out of space.

What are you looking forward to?
Facing my fears of being a mom.
Preparing a room for our baby.
Drinking coffee again.

Random question:
What is your favorite piece of maternity clothing?
Um hello...elastic waist pants! I can't believe I've been missing out on these things!
~Angela M.

How far along are you?
23 weeks 3 days.

How much weight have you gained?

12 pounds-terrifying!!!

How big is baby?
A little over a pound! He's measuring almost a week big-which maybe means he will come a little early--one can hope!

How are you feeling?
I've been feeling uncomforable recently. With the added weight in the front, everything just hurts most of the time. Trying to do Yoga several times a week to help. Emotionally I'm doing great though!

Are you sleeping?
It depends on the night. I am waking up at least 2 times a night---I guess my body is just preparing me for what it will be like!

What are your current cravings/aversions?
Puppy Chow (or Muddy Buddies as some people call them). If you've never has it before you are missing out on one of the great joys of life. Chex cereal with peanut butter, melted chocolate chips covered with powdered sugar. Soooo good.

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
Our little BOY is growing and packing on the weight these days--which is a great thing! I've been continuing to score big time at the Other Mother quarter sale! Jared keeps telling me that people are going ot buy stuff for us, but I just can't help myself when it's only 25 cents!

What are you thinking about this week?
Overwhelmed with thankfulness for God's faithfulness-knowing that we have a healthy baby boy!

What are you missing?
Still missing running and also a delicious French Press of Guatemala Antigua...

What are you looking forward to?
Showing our guy off to everyone:)
Working out hard again-weird I know.

Random question: What is the weirdest name someone has suggested for you to use
My dad for some reason thinks our baby should be called Froyo Bongo. I rather like Marco Polo:)

~Angela M.

17 weeks and counting:

One of my old roomates from Cali recently had a baby, and she kept this cute little update on her blog during her pregnancy that I just loved:) It was such a clever way to keep people who were interested updated on all the weird questions everyone wants the answers to. So I thought I would steal Carrie's idea-thanks friend!

How far along are you?
17 weeks 5 days.

How much weight have you gained?

5 pounds-scary!

How big is baby?
about half a pound, and about 5.5 inches long:)

How are you feeling?
I really feel great! I just can't complain. My energy levels have been up recently which is much relief to Jared and myself. My winter allergies have kicked in the last few days, but it is nothing out of the ordinary and some symptoms are starting to go away! Just trying to stay positive and beat the allergies naturally!

Are you sleeping?
Pretty good. I wake up 1-2 times to pee (which is my normal routine even when I'm not pregnant lol). I'm usually pretty uncomfortable by the time I wake up, so that helps me get out of bed.

What are your current cravings/aversions?
The only craving I've really had is Salt and Vinegar chips and a Frosty fron Wendy's every time we drive by one, but I'm not sure if that is a pregnancy thing:) The only aversion I have is the smell of this candle at my parents place. Good thing I'm not going to eat it.

What’s new for little Baby Amerine?
I just scored at a second hand store for baby clothes. They were having a quarter sale, so I got about 7 outfits and other random things for $2.40!! Not really getting much else until we find out the gender.

What are you thinking about this week?
Feeling overwhelmed at how much our lives will change--enjoying my moments of quiet--praying that God will help us to raise our child to love Him.

What are you missing?
I miss running. Sooooo much.

What are you looking forward to?
Smelling our little baby---holding our baby---watching Jared take care of our precious child.

Random question: What do you think it will look like?
I can't even imagine! I think our child will be easier to imagine once we find out the gender in a few weeks!!



~Angela M.